i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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