Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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