you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
