just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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