Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
