btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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