im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
