super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize