You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
