She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just forgot I was standing up.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
