Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
