Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
