Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
