He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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