Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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