i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize