:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize