i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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