There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
