is wine microwaveable?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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