I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize