lets start a swedish sibling band together
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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