keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
