that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
