New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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