we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
