So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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