We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My life is pants optional.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize