Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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