Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
