what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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