Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Panties = found
Randomize
