Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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