I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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