i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
