Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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