I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
