Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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