You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
