We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
