I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
