That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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