Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize