it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
