If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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