He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
