I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize