so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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