I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
