Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
