420 ftw
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
