Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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