Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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