God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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