Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize