I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Don't make out with my wife yet
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
