remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
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