is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
