i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
