I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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