her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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