Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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