i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
