And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
