You just made me feel so damn special
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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