You're completely useless in the revolution.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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