I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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