i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
His nipple licking is glorious
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