Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
