no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
