I'm going to jail i love you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
