im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
