I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So much rum. So many feels.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize