His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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